How not to write a "Thank You" letter

It's the day after Boxing Day. Every Christmas present has now been opened and the wrapping paper has found its way into the outside bin. After two days of over-indulgence, Mum and Dad decide it's time for the kids to write a few "Thank You" letters before everyone forgets who gave what to whom.

This poem is a cautionary example of how not to do it, sent from a very ungrateful child - a close cousin of The Santa Trap's Bradley Bartleby perhaps?

A Gift Horse in the Mouth

To Auntie Joan and Uncle Ray,

I did say "Thanks" on Christmas day,

but Mum says you gave so much stuff,

just saying it was not enough.

She says the least that I should do

is write a note to say 'Thank you'.

Quite why I should, I do not know,

but Mum insists, so here I go:

Thank you for the action-figure;

my friend has got one - only bigger!

Thank you for the new canoe;

I'll put it with my other two.

Thank you for the Mega-Maze;

a pity that was last year's craze.

Thank you for the cuddly toy;

it's perfect - for a younger boy.

Thank you for the spinning top;

they'll love it - at the charity shop.

Thank you for the painting set;

was this the best that you could get?

And thank you for the microscope;

you still have the receipt, I hope!

Phew! I'm glad I'm done with that!

Yours sincerely,

Spoilt Brat.

P.S. My birthday - DO remember -

is on the second of September!

You can find this, along with some other unpublished poems about toys, in the Early Poems section of my web site.

Hot-Diggerty! What I thought of Mole's stage show.

I took the train down to London yesterday to see Peaceful Lion's new stage show of Bringing Down the Moon. Although it's not the first time one of my picture book's has been adapted for the stage, this was the the first time I'd been to see the show and I have to admit to having some trepidation about the experience - what if I hated it? Fortunately I LOVED it!

The show is currently running in the small "StageSpace" studio theatre at The Pleasance in Islington. I watched it with an enthusiastic audience of young children and their parents. Some of the audience had obviously read the book, as they kept shouting out what was about to happen, but that just added to the humour of what was a very entertaining performance.

In fact, if I have one criticism of the show, it would be that it's actually a little too funny; I'm worried that people might come out of it saying that it was much funnier than my book. I voiced this concern to the cast and crew afterwards and asked them if they could try to make subsequent performances a little less amusing, but I don't think they took my request seriously.

Aside from the uncomfortably high level of hilarity, it was a very enjoyable show with some great songs, lovely costumes and characterful performances from all the cast.

Here's me with the show's adapter and director, Ollie, and the cast,
John, Victoria, Fleur and Henry, after the performance.

Bringing Down the Moon Production Photos

I thought I'd share some of these gorgeous production photos of Peaceful Lion's new stage show of Bringing Down the Moon at The Pleasance Theatre in Islington with you.  They were all taken by Pamela Raith who specialises in performance photography.

Can you guess which character is which?

This character doesn't seem to have 20/20 vision.

But his friend seems to have plenty of bounce!

Who's this prickly looking musician?

This one looks a bit nutty!

It's very beautiful indeed ...

… but not as near as it looks!

You can see more photos of the show here.

Tickets are still available for many performances including the two on Saturday 15th December, when I'll be around to sign books afterwards. Click here to book tickets online.

A Message from Bradley Bartleby

I don't usually feature guest posts on this blog and I hesitate to call this a “guest post” since the “guest” in question has threatened to set his tigers on me if I don’t do as he asks. But here it is anyway …

————————————————————————————————

Dear Children of the World

My name is Bradley Bartleby. If you haven’t heard of me, that’s probably because you are ignorant wretches. 

My family are immensely rich and I live in a huge house with a garden that is big enough to lose an elephant in. You might think that being rich means that I can have whatever I want. Sadly, this is not the case. While my parents give in to my every demand, not everyone follows their fine example. There is one man in particular, who stubbornly refuses to give me what I want. His name is Santa Claus. While this fat fool gives proper presents to all of you each Christmas, he seems determined not to do the same for me. Ever since I was a baby, the only gift he’s given me is a pair of stupid socks, which is more of an insult than a gift. 

I’m not prepared to put up with this for any longer, so this Christmas I’m going to make sure I get what I want from Santa – this Christmas I’m going to take every present he’s got. 

To achieve this I’ve spent the whole of this year converting my house into a stupendous SANTA TRAP. Although I still have a few jobs left to do, I’m confident that I will catch the crimson clod. I’m obviously hoping to nab Santa early on in his journey, while he’s still got most of his gifts. Either way, it will mean that some of you will not be getting your presents this year. I realize that many children will be upset by this. To those children I say, “BOOHOO!”, “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRY BABY!” and “TOUGH LUCK!” I’ve suffered many disappointing Christmases - now it’s your turn!

I’m aware that there is a picture book entitled “The Santa Trap” that claims to tell the story of what I’m doing. I have to admit that the first half of this book contains a disturbingly accurate account of my early life and the events of the last few months. The book’s author and illustrator have clearly been spying on me. I must improve the security here at Bartleby Hall – it seems that having ravenous tigers roaming the grounds is not enough.

I didn’t bother reading the second half of the book as it was clearly made-up nonsense. It appears to show events that have not even happened yet!!! The author and illustrator are obviously charlatans and the book’s publishers must be gullible idiots. I would urge you to ignore the book completely – only there is this rather fetching portrait of me on the front cover. 

So I suggest you buy a copy, put the cover in an expensive frame and throw away the rest of the book – or better still burn it!

To set the record straight as to my actual activities, I have taken out a Twitter account @BradelyBartleby and will be tweeting a daily progress report as I put the finishing touches to my trap.  You can find my daily tweets here: https://twitter.com/BradleyBartleby/timelines/491511620330602496

The first tweet will be on the 1st December and the last on the 24th December, after which I will be too busy opening my thousands of presents to tweet any more.

Here’s wishing ME a very merry and present-filled Christmas.

Yours vengefully

Bradley Bartleby

Seven Stories Callum Events and Bringing Down the Moon Signings

Here’s news of a couple of events I have coming up in the next few months.

Seven Stories National Centre for Children’s Books,
Newcastle upon Tyne, 19th January 2013

I’ll be doing two events at Seven Stories featuring Callum’s Incredible Construction Kit. It’s my first trip to the centre, which I’ve been meaning to visit since it opened.

As well as reading the book, I’ll be talking about my own love of building things and how this has influenced many of my stories. At the end of each event, children will be able to make and decorate a simple Callum pop-up to take away with them.

Click here to book tickets for the event at the Seven Stories website, where you can also find out about the other wonderful exhibitions and activities that the centre has to offer. The centre takes up seven storeys of a converted Victorian mill, giving rise to its punning title.

Click here to find out more about Callum’s Incredible Construction Kit.


Pleasance Theatre, Islington, 15th December 2012

Before that, I’m going down to London to see Peaceful Lion Productions' new stage show of Bringing Down the Moon (see last blog post) and will be signing books after the 11.00am and 1.00pm performances on 15th December.  So come along and say hello!

Tickets are still available for both these performances as I write this, but other performances have already sold out, so CLICK HERE TO BOOK now if you'd like to see the show before having your book signed.

Bringing Down the Moon Stage Show

I’m delighted to announce that my picture book, Bringing Down the Moon, has been adapted into a stage show. You may have noticed an advert for it at the side of this blog for the last month.

The book, illustrated by Vanessa Cabban, is the first in the Mole and Friends series and has been translated into 20 different languages since its publication in 2001. It tells the story of what happens when Mole sees the moon for the first time and sets out to bring it down from the sky. His friends, Rabbit, Hedgehog and Squirrel keep telling him, “It’s not as near as it looks,” but Mole is determined to succeed.

The book has been adapted for the stage by Ollie Fielding for Peaceful Lion Productions and opens at the Pleasance Theatre in Islington this Christmas, before going on tour in 2013.

The show will be at the Pleasance from 4 December 2012 to 2 January 2013, with performances at 11.00am and 1.00pm.

The show's still being put together, but Peaceful Lion have sent me this photo of a model of the set, by designer Eleanor Field, which captures the atmosphere of Vanessa Cabban’s beautiful illustrations for the book.

They’ve sent me a couple of sketches of the costume designs for Hedgehog and Squirrel to share with you too. But if you want to see what Mole looks like — you’ll have to see the show. 

One performance is already sold out, so CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR TICKETS NOW!

Callum’s Incredible TV Series

I’m delighted to announce that I’ve just signed a deal for a TV series of my latest picture book Callum’s Incredible Construction Kit.

It’s far more difficult to get a TV series to screen than to get a book into print, so it may come to nothing (which is what happened to the TV deal I had for Dinosaurs After Dark a few years ago) but it’s still an exciting prospect.

The series is being developed by The Foundation, the UK production company who make Waybuloo, Dani’s House and many other children's programmes. The Foundation is also behind the forthcoming Quick Quack Duck TV series that I blogged about earlier in the year and they intend to make the Callum series in a similar 3D computer-animated style.

The company expressed a very early interest in adapting Callum for TV and I first met with Director Vanessa Hill back in May, four months before the book had even been published. Vanessa asked me to get involved with the development of the series, which is already well underway and the company are about to start work on an animation sample. TV is a very different medium to picture books, with it’s own conventions and restrictions but I’m enjoying getting to grips with the new challenges that it presents.

The TV version of Callum will look distinctly different to the picture book version, but one of the reasons I’ve been asked to get involved is to ensure that the TV version retains the elements that are central to the book’s appeal: Callum’s can-do attitude and resourcefulness and plenty of cool construction kit creations!

Even if everything goes swimmingly, the series won’t air until 2015 at the earliest - so don’t hold your breath ...